Sunday, January 25, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Well dear readers, quite a few things have been going on my mind lately.
First and foremost, My resolution in 2009 is to Man UP! For me, that means things like growing up, accepting my responsibilities, trying to conquer fears, apologizing for my wrongs, and not apologizing for who I am. A tall order, but long overdue!
Second, I've become the sort of "man" I despise. I'm clingy, overemotional, needy, and a neurotic mess. I rely too much on other people and am letting myself get crippled by fear. Gotta work on that. And to all those who I've been bothering lately, sorry. I know and I don't like myself for doing it...
Now to the fun stuff, my students today thought the Ramones were a 90s band! Oh man, Mr. Rini's going to have to open his own School of Rock...
First and foremost, My resolution in 2009 is to Man UP! For me, that means things like growing up, accepting my responsibilities, trying to conquer fears, apologizing for my wrongs, and not apologizing for who I am. A tall order, but long overdue!
Second, I've become the sort of "man" I despise. I'm clingy, overemotional, needy, and a neurotic mess. I rely too much on other people and am letting myself get crippled by fear. Gotta work on that. And to all those who I've been bothering lately, sorry. I know and I don't like myself for doing it...
Now to the fun stuff, my students today thought the Ramones were a 90s band! Oh man, Mr. Rini's going to have to open his own School of Rock...
Sunday, January 18, 2009
18 January 2009
Sunday
Music: Some overwrought 19th Century Italian organ offertoire on youtube.
Quick thought:
I am so lucky to have some of the people I do. I was at the bar tonight, and one of my buddies said, "You've come a long way." Whenever anyone tells me that I laugh and think what their reaction would be if they'd known in in college, or high school!
So to all my friends, pleasant aquaintances, and loves. HERE'S TO YOU! I wouldn't be here without your help. Thank you.
Sunday
Music: Some overwrought 19th Century Italian organ offertoire on youtube.
Quick thought:
I am so lucky to have some of the people I do. I was at the bar tonight, and one of my buddies said, "You've come a long way." Whenever anyone tells me that I laugh and think what their reaction would be if they'd known in in college, or high school!
So to all my friends, pleasant aquaintances, and loves. HERE'S TO YOU! I wouldn't be here without your help. Thank you.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
17 January 2009
Saturday, 2:55am
Music: Brahms 3rd Symphony, 1st movement
Sometimes I find it rather funny to look back at myself and see things that I never really thought were there. I used to never think I was religious or spiritual, but it seems that I am. (Or highly irrational and superstitious as the case may be.)
I picked up one of my books on Nicholas & Alexandra Romanov yesterday and the author was trying to argue that Alexandra was mystical for all the times she saw patterns and metaphors in life. He argued that her mystical tendencies were manifested in seeing the 300th Anniversary of the Romanov Dynasty and how its beginning had powerful similarities to how things were going around 1912-1914. He also added in stuff like her responses to the pain and suffering she had in her personal life.
Now today, I sorta saw the same thing through music, and it was quite interesting. I was driving to meet with an old old friend and her new boyfriend. They're out visiting from New York. So, as I was driving, the classical station programmed Tchaikovsky's Tempest! Now that piece-and it lives up to its name-was my constant companion late in high school. What can I say, I love storm music! And in due course with all constant companion pieces of music, you burn yourself out of them, put them away, and generally forget about them. And today I got to hear The Tempest for the first time since... oh probably 1999. And it was like meeting an old friend. I started to remember details and bits and pieces that I'd forgotten about. And how ironic that I was on the way to meet an old lady-friend while revisiting an old music-friend!
Right now, the piece I'm listening to is another old friend, one that I used to define myself by. Yet as I mature (and hopefully mellow) I see that dramatic posturing gets very old very fast. It has its place too, but it is a touch ridiculous.
Still its nice to see old friends, old feelings, and old states of mind. Who knows from where I've been to where I'll go!
Saturday, 2:55am
Music: Brahms 3rd Symphony, 1st movement
Sometimes I find it rather funny to look back at myself and see things that I never really thought were there. I used to never think I was religious or spiritual, but it seems that I am. (Or highly irrational and superstitious as the case may be.)
I picked up one of my books on Nicholas & Alexandra Romanov yesterday and the author was trying to argue that Alexandra was mystical for all the times she saw patterns and metaphors in life. He argued that her mystical tendencies were manifested in seeing the 300th Anniversary of the Romanov Dynasty and how its beginning had powerful similarities to how things were going around 1912-1914. He also added in stuff like her responses to the pain and suffering she had in her personal life.
Now today, I sorta saw the same thing through music, and it was quite interesting. I was driving to meet with an old old friend and her new boyfriend. They're out visiting from New York. So, as I was driving, the classical station programmed Tchaikovsky's Tempest! Now that piece-and it lives up to its name-was my constant companion late in high school. What can I say, I love storm music! And in due course with all constant companion pieces of music, you burn yourself out of them, put them away, and generally forget about them. And today I got to hear The Tempest for the first time since... oh probably 1999. And it was like meeting an old friend. I started to remember details and bits and pieces that I'd forgotten about. And how ironic that I was on the way to meet an old lady-friend while revisiting an old music-friend!
Right now, the piece I'm listening to is another old friend, one that I used to define myself by. Yet as I mature (and hopefully mellow) I see that dramatic posturing gets very old very fast. It has its place too, but it is a touch ridiculous.
Still its nice to see old friends, old feelings, and old states of mind. Who knows from where I've been to where I'll go!
Thursday, January 01, 2009
1 January 2009
Thursday. 2:26am
Music: Mendelssohn, Symphony 5 "The Reformation"
To all,
Its been quite some time hasn't it? Over a year since my last blog. So many things have happened, and I think perhaps things will go well. Let me take stock a bit...
I finished my teaching credential, lost hair in the process, and went though quite a lot of anxiety. I truly didn't know if I could do it, but somehow I managed to student teach, go to class, and hold down a regular job. Now I am subbing, it pays the bills and is usually fun. Not every day, but usually.
I finished the Harry Potter series. In some ways I wish it would have ended differently, and at times I wish it would be endless. One does not want to see good things end, but perhaps the journey is the important thing.
Some friends have gone, some have come. They are all wonderful and I both treasure them and amazed that they like me!
I think I might be coming into my own after so long. My only regret with this is that it took so many years to start liking me, or even accepting myself. Maybe I'll be able to smile at myself in the mirror again, its been awhile.
And in stupid pet peeves: I need more money and my cell phone is dying!
To all who have read so far,
Cheers!
And my love to you.
Thursday. 2:26am
Music: Mendelssohn, Symphony 5 "The Reformation"
To all,
Its been quite some time hasn't it? Over a year since my last blog. So many things have happened, and I think perhaps things will go well. Let me take stock a bit...
I finished my teaching credential, lost hair in the process, and went though quite a lot of anxiety. I truly didn't know if I could do it, but somehow I managed to student teach, go to class, and hold down a regular job. Now I am subbing, it pays the bills and is usually fun. Not every day, but usually.
I finished the Harry Potter series. In some ways I wish it would have ended differently, and at times I wish it would be endless. One does not want to see good things end, but perhaps the journey is the important thing.
Some friends have gone, some have come. They are all wonderful and I both treasure them and amazed that they like me!
I think I might be coming into my own after so long. My only regret with this is that it took so many years to start liking me, or even accepting myself. Maybe I'll be able to smile at myself in the mirror again, its been awhile.
And in stupid pet peeves: I need more money and my cell phone is dying!
To all who have read so far,
Cheers!
And my love to you.
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