23 February 2004
Monday
Good grief everything has been happening. Last Saturday I broke the Speed Graphic, not a good thing. About 4 weeks ago I had the most unusual juxtaposition. I was in Crosby or Foley or something... note: Paula Gordon, d. 23 January, cancer, my thesis disaster... and I met the vigil for the anniversary of Roe vs Wade. That was spiritual and powerful. The same night the Harlem Gospel Choir was whooping it up in St. Als. Amplified of course. The lead soprano has a very powerful set of lungs, most impressive. I've finally tamed the P & A oil lamp, my pocket watch is repaired ($18) and I got Hugo running finally. One f---ing battery cable! And of course the brakes were out so it took me over a week to get Champ's 1 1/8 socket. 10 minute job. 1 hour job picking up all the sockets I dropped. Lets see what else... Doc Martens are now made in China. Thats just WRONG! I bought a pair of lovely Etnies last Friday. Beautifully comfortable. Spent Friday night at Bill & Erins, was pretty cool. Saturday was at 814 and the Star. 2 beers do me in. Yesterday was lovely, today I think spring blossomed in Spokane, I'm going to miss the snow though. Jesse misses me. Some of my photos are going to be published, I'm excited. Jeremy's driving me insane... but thats another story. I realize I have fraternal love from some of my buddies, but I don't know why I still feel so lonely so often. I'm gonna miss Andrew. Lets see, what else? I'm listening to the delightful pulsating noise of Apoptygma Berserk. Tracked down Alex Durkin the other night, Brian Engel and Julia Harrington are getting married. They will have tall children. I must get to bed so as to fetch glass plates and pocket watches in the morning. Organ lesson too. Oh boy. OH! http://www.cs.qub.ac.uk/~J.Collis/guides/tallis.html November 1999, I was alone in Cushing listening to the Tallis sample when I saw my very first Gonzaga snow. Beautiful moment.
Tuesday, February 24, 2004
Monday, December 01, 2003
Saturday, November 22, 2003
21 November 2003
Friday
I'm fucked. Thesis is due Monday, and its not going to be beautiful. And I'm up allnight again. It is a delightful 10 degrees tonight.
Thursday was a wonderful adventure. We got a good 5 inches of snow. I intercepted a Rebmann snowball fight. The guys of Rebmann seem to be a family again this year, only they told me that the old place is going to be the Sociology Department next year. Damn. Roommate and some of the guys from A building were playing in the snow, and I shot snowballs at Nanette who was actually having fun for once. I came back a couple hours later for some really soggy Kokanee and Australian red wine. Went in search of adventure and went sledding with Chet Simmons of all people and met a delightful Black Lab named Jack who fetches snowballs. Good boy Jack! Came back and the snow football was over although there were many stories of snow penises and apparently an anatomically correct snow woman on her back... Talked to Mark about how we're getting old. Helped work on a fort. Saw a guy get his Toyota Landrcruiser stuck in a Dussault lawn. Lovely moment. Helped push him out. Took photo. His buddies asked me later for a copy.
Friday was Friday. Met a new pianist who's very good and plays thie shit out of Rachmaninoff on the Chickering.
Friday
I'm fucked. Thesis is due Monday, and its not going to be beautiful. And I'm up allnight again. It is a delightful 10 degrees tonight.
Thursday was a wonderful adventure. We got a good 5 inches of snow. I intercepted a Rebmann snowball fight. The guys of Rebmann seem to be a family again this year, only they told me that the old place is going to be the Sociology Department next year. Damn. Roommate and some of the guys from A building were playing in the snow, and I shot snowballs at Nanette who was actually having fun for once. I came back a couple hours later for some really soggy Kokanee and Australian red wine. Went in search of adventure and went sledding with Chet Simmons of all people and met a delightful Black Lab named Jack who fetches snowballs. Good boy Jack! Came back and the snow football was over although there were many stories of snow penises and apparently an anatomically correct snow woman on her back... Talked to Mark about how we're getting old. Helped work on a fort. Saw a guy get his Toyota Landrcruiser stuck in a Dussault lawn. Lovely moment. Helped push him out. Took photo. His buddies asked me later for a copy.
Friday was Friday. Met a new pianist who's very good and plays thie shit out of Rachmaninoff on the Chickering.
Thursday, November 20, 2003
19 November 2003
Wednesday
Good grief how quickly everything is going! Sunday night had a learning experience that stretched my morals I guess. Monday night I was suicidal in part because the two people that I most wanted at my birthday weren't RSVPing me. And I called one, and he wasn't in the best mood, and it was all bad. I thought I had just lost my best friend so I typed up a quick note, dashed over to his place, and in the process of dashing fell down my staircase so now my side hurts. Lovely. Spent the rest of the evening feeling suicidal and put my buddy Tyler through massive shit. Tuesday was alright. Turned out Jermy got his dates comfused and couldn't make it to dinner. So I ended up having Matt, Durkin, Bill & Erin at my table. Linden, Lenzmeyer, Ito, Anthony and John came by. Ito bought me a shot of Jaegarmeister. Still tastes like cough syrup, but it has its charms. After that I had a Guinness. The guys left, and were replaced by Rejiv and Erin II--the one I angered at a party before when I said that jazz became debased after the 1940s. Anyway, he bought me a shot of Jamisons. Matt made me get a Green Monster. I had no idea what a Green Monster was but relented. I should have known I was in for trouble when Alex's eyes bulged open like I'd never seen before or since.
Well the delightful concoction arrived about the time we were talking about tattoos and piercings and how its probably best not to know if you can't see them directly. Then the Green Monster arrived. A one Litre carafe filled with ice and large amounts of vodka, rum, ginm and Midori for the green. And some orange and pineapple juice. I drank the whole damn thing in sips alternating with a little water. I got really drunk, things were spinning if I moved my head too fast and all that sort of thing. Thats when the h2o and plate of fries came in. Greasy food just really helps out when you're gonna drink. So I was finishing the last third of this green alcoholic liquid Jolly Rancher while sipping h20 and eating fries so as to stay truly fucked up but not nauseous and truly fucked up.
The fun broke up sometime around 11. Total damages $86.01. Bill expertly drove my car home, and I finished the evening off by pissing on a tree (deliberately) and lighting up a cigar. Looked up Dre to show the world me drunk. I stumbled around the place for awhile before making it to my room. Andrew was impressed at how long I lasted. I had a headache and couldn't sit vertically. It was quite fun actually. I IMed with Tyler who is now convinced that I'm bipolar and need help. Oh, and my drunken phone call to Jeremy had him call me a "silly little bitch" the next day. I had a litre of water before bed and woke up the next day without a hangover.
Online explorations revealed some lovely things like that the Organ Clearing House (www.organclearinghouse.com) has updated their site. BTW, I'll take that big Hutchings if someone wants to give it to me.
All in all I learned several things from the whole event. First off, getting shitfaced is REALLY FUN! Dude, I even had the drunken grin going on, its involuntary! Second, I guess I've built up a tolerance. Third and probably the most important, I'm a happy guy deep down. Everybody who knows me well knows of my suicidal tendencies, issues with the Catholic religion, issues with women, and general unease at being in my skin. None of that mattered. It was like God lifted all my burdens for one night and just let me have some fun. And honestly it have me a will to live again. Plus. NO HANGOVER! Goodnight!
Wednesday
Good grief how quickly everything is going! Sunday night had a learning experience that stretched my morals I guess. Monday night I was suicidal in part because the two people that I most wanted at my birthday weren't RSVPing me. And I called one, and he wasn't in the best mood, and it was all bad. I thought I had just lost my best friend so I typed up a quick note, dashed over to his place, and in the process of dashing fell down my staircase so now my side hurts. Lovely. Spent the rest of the evening feeling suicidal and put my buddy Tyler through massive shit. Tuesday was alright. Turned out Jermy got his dates comfused and couldn't make it to dinner. So I ended up having Matt, Durkin, Bill & Erin at my table. Linden, Lenzmeyer, Ito, Anthony and John came by. Ito bought me a shot of Jaegarmeister. Still tastes like cough syrup, but it has its charms. After that I had a Guinness. The guys left, and were replaced by Rejiv and Erin II--the one I angered at a party before when I said that jazz became debased after the 1940s. Anyway, he bought me a shot of Jamisons. Matt made me get a Green Monster. I had no idea what a Green Monster was but relented. I should have known I was in for trouble when Alex's eyes bulged open like I'd never seen before or since.
Well the delightful concoction arrived about the time we were talking about tattoos and piercings and how its probably best not to know if you can't see them directly. Then the Green Monster arrived. A one Litre carafe filled with ice and large amounts of vodka, rum, ginm and Midori for the green. And some orange and pineapple juice. I drank the whole damn thing in sips alternating with a little water. I got really drunk, things were spinning if I moved my head too fast and all that sort of thing. Thats when the h2o and plate of fries came in. Greasy food just really helps out when you're gonna drink. So I was finishing the last third of this green alcoholic liquid Jolly Rancher while sipping h20 and eating fries so as to stay truly fucked up but not nauseous and truly fucked up.
The fun broke up sometime around 11. Total damages $86.01. Bill expertly drove my car home, and I finished the evening off by pissing on a tree (deliberately) and lighting up a cigar. Looked up Dre to show the world me drunk. I stumbled around the place for awhile before making it to my room. Andrew was impressed at how long I lasted. I had a headache and couldn't sit vertically. It was quite fun actually. I IMed with Tyler who is now convinced that I'm bipolar and need help. Oh, and my drunken phone call to Jeremy had him call me a "silly little bitch" the next day. I had a litre of water before bed and woke up the next day without a hangover.
Online explorations revealed some lovely things like that the Organ Clearing House (www.organclearinghouse.com) has updated their site. BTW, I'll take that big Hutchings if someone wants to give it to me.
All in all I learned several things from the whole event. First off, getting shitfaced is REALLY FUN! Dude, I even had the drunken grin going on, its involuntary! Second, I guess I've built up a tolerance. Third and probably the most important, I'm a happy guy deep down. Everybody who knows me well knows of my suicidal tendencies, issues with the Catholic religion, issues with women, and general unease at being in my skin. None of that mattered. It was like God lifted all my burdens for one night and just let me have some fun. And honestly it have me a will to live again. Plus. NO HANGOVER! Goodnight!
Sunday, November 09, 2003
Friday, November 07, 2003
Tuesday, November 04, 2003
3 November 2003
Monday
I spent something like 5 hours in the darkroom tonight. Still, I got a few decent pictures out of it. I will miss not having a darkroom to play with out of school. I'm totally scared of my thesis project and of my final semester of college. I probably shouldn't worry about it, but I just want to scream and cry. God help us all I guess.
Monday
I spent something like 5 hours in the darkroom tonight. Still, I got a few decent pictures out of it. I will miss not having a darkroom to play with out of school. I'm totally scared of my thesis project and of my final semester of college. I probably shouldn't worry about it, but I just want to scream and cry. God help us all I guess.
Friday, October 31, 2003
30 October 2003
Thursday
I got up quite early and was finally able to visit upon Dr. Butterworth. He cleaned up, suprising to see from a prof I could always depend on to be shaggy genteel. Then we saw a movie "Good Morning, Mr. Hitler." Munich 1939 in 16mm color. Scary how real it all was, and also to my minds eye how rediculous the Nazis looked in retrospect. But chillingly, it was all real, weak Heil Hitlers and all. Slept through my mysticism class. Don't think I missed much. Esther was at choir today despite the pneumonia. I realized something more about life and the nature of love today. Oh well. In good news tomorrow is Halloween, Dad has sent me enough money to get by for a while, and I think I shall hit an antique shop tomorrow to see what I can get for pittance at the last day. I'm naughty like that.
Thursday
I got up quite early and was finally able to visit upon Dr. Butterworth. He cleaned up, suprising to see from a prof I could always depend on to be shaggy genteel. Then we saw a movie "Good Morning, Mr. Hitler." Munich 1939 in 16mm color. Scary how real it all was, and also to my minds eye how rediculous the Nazis looked in retrospect. But chillingly, it was all real, weak Heil Hitlers and all. Slept through my mysticism class. Don't think I missed much. Esther was at choir today despite the pneumonia. I realized something more about life and the nature of love today. Oh well. In good news tomorrow is Halloween, Dad has sent me enough money to get by for a while, and I think I shall hit an antique shop tomorrow to see what I can get for pittance at the last day. I'm naughty like that.
Sunday, October 26, 2003
25 October 2003
Saturday
Yesterday was quite the day. I spent the early part sleeping. Got stuff done, attempted to rebuild the bedroom and clean the apartment in preparation for a possible date. That got nixed by a well-meaning but oblivious new friend. So I ended up going to John's party and had rather a good time. I understand John a bit better now. After that, I went to another party at Jerads, and we talked to about 4:30. Today I was awoken at noon by Jeremy for an Old Navy excursion. They had my coat on sale, but my credit for an Old Navy credit card was denied. Just makes you feel dirty. J. agreed. We talked a bit about my embarassing purchase, and it was just good to talk about stuff. And I got his Christmas present. Day was uneventful. I got a call at midnight for a party at Jason and Adams place. Stayed there for a while then went to Jack and Dans bar. Saw a number of people I knew, always nice. Went back to the party where it was primarily skanky people. Jeremy did the glass clink trick to make me chuga beer. He's so dead. Party got extremely skankified by spokeys, and so we left just in time to have the cops come and break it all up. And so to Mass in the morning.
Saturday
Yesterday was quite the day. I spent the early part sleeping. Got stuff done, attempted to rebuild the bedroom and clean the apartment in preparation for a possible date. That got nixed by a well-meaning but oblivious new friend. So I ended up going to John's party and had rather a good time. I understand John a bit better now. After that, I went to another party at Jerads, and we talked to about 4:30. Today I was awoken at noon by Jeremy for an Old Navy excursion. They had my coat on sale, but my credit for an Old Navy credit card was denied. Just makes you feel dirty. J. agreed. We talked a bit about my embarassing purchase, and it was just good to talk about stuff. And I got his Christmas present. Day was uneventful. I got a call at midnight for a party at Jason and Adams place. Stayed there for a while then went to Jack and Dans bar. Saw a number of people I knew, always nice. Went back to the party where it was primarily skanky people. Jeremy did the glass clink trick to make me chuga beer. He's so dead. Party got extremely skankified by spokeys, and so we left just in time to have the cops come and break it all up. And so to Mass in the morning.
Friday, October 24, 2003
Wednesday, October 15, 2003
14 October 2003
Tuesday
I can't believe how fast the time is going. Its really quite scary. I've been so incredibly tired lately. Thesis research is going rather well. I tried marijuana for the first time a week ago Friday. Extremely overrated. And the smoke is quite hot. Otherwise, therapy isn't doing much for me. I'm scared to think of life after college, and thats about it I suppose.
Tuesday
I can't believe how fast the time is going. Its really quite scary. I've been so incredibly tired lately. Thesis research is going rather well. I tried marijuana for the first time a week ago Friday. Extremely overrated. And the smoke is quite hot. Otherwise, therapy isn't doing much for me. I'm scared to think of life after college, and thats about it I suppose.
Friday, October 03, 2003
2 October 2003
Thursday
Song: Chopin: Marche Funebre
I saw "Chasing Amy" tonight. Sad movie, but the people I was with didn't think it was sad. From they way they carry on, nothing is sadness, just fun, alcohol, and shit that happens. I'm pissed that they never take anything serious. No one takes anything serious around here. I'm alone on more levels than I thought.
Thursday
Song: Chopin: Marche Funebre
I saw "Chasing Amy" tonight. Sad movie, but the people I was with didn't think it was sad. From they way they carry on, nothing is sadness, just fun, alcohol, and shit that happens. I'm pissed that they never take anything serious. No one takes anything serious around here. I'm alone on more levels than I thought.
Sunday, September 28, 2003
27 September 2003
Saturday
Song: Smashing Pumpkins, Untitled
Well here I am in the middle of the night yet again. And I'm listening to the Pumpkins while researching the possible arsenic poisoning of N. Bonaparte, an online "Amish supply store," and blogging. Today was rather eventful. I went hat shopping with a new friend, Matt. I found several typewriters that I wish I could rescue, but it is not in the cards for me. Found $100 in the hidden compartment of my wallet, so I was able to go to a nice dinner. Was not able to really get in contact with anyone though. The new cd burner seems to be working at the moment too. In sad news, my cousin has had a friend been missing for two weeks. God help her. I started therapy last Friday, I think I might be ok, but its kinda scary that I had to start up again. And I'm obsessing a little over one of my friends, but thats another story...
Oh yes, one more thing. Tonight was the Grind, the traditional school skankification festival to crappy music. I didn't go, my friend Breton told me that she didn't think it was my sort of scene. She said I'm one of the few gentlemen left. I asked her what does being a gentleman get you anymore.
Saturday
Song: Smashing Pumpkins, Untitled
Well here I am in the middle of the night yet again. And I'm listening to the Pumpkins while researching the possible arsenic poisoning of N. Bonaparte, an online "Amish supply store," and blogging. Today was rather eventful. I went hat shopping with a new friend, Matt. I found several typewriters that I wish I could rescue, but it is not in the cards for me. Found $100 in the hidden compartment of my wallet, so I was able to go to a nice dinner. Was not able to really get in contact with anyone though. The new cd burner seems to be working at the moment too. In sad news, my cousin has had a friend been missing for two weeks. God help her. I started therapy last Friday, I think I might be ok, but its kinda scary that I had to start up again. And I'm obsessing a little over one of my friends, but thats another story...
Oh yes, one more thing. Tonight was the Grind, the traditional school skankification festival to crappy music. I didn't go, my friend Breton told me that she didn't think it was my sort of scene. She said I'm one of the few gentlemen left. I asked her what does being a gentleman get you anymore.
Friday, September 26, 2003
25 September
Thursday
Red Mass today. We got through it pretty well. I saw the woman who gives me issues, and I think I'm getting over it. Still some anger and resentment. But I think I shall overcome it all. First therapy session is tomorrow. Lets hope for the best. I realized I latch on to people, maybe its from a fear of standing all by myself.
Thursday
Red Mass today. We got through it pretty well. I saw the woman who gives me issues, and I think I'm getting over it. Still some anger and resentment. But I think I shall overcome it all. First therapy session is tomorrow. Lets hope for the best. I realized I latch on to people, maybe its from a fear of standing all by myself.
Monday, September 22, 2003
21 September 2003
Sunday
Well today I managed to pretty much destory the Mass of Creation, but we go on. They were apparently appreciative, and I wasn't kicked out of the place.
Ok, here's the shittiness. Most everyone around me is getting in a relationship, and I'm still single. Plus the women that I've really fallen for have all gotten into serious relationships with other guys. This really really bugs me because if I'm seriously interested I'm not thinking about seeing how long it takes to get her into bed, I'm thinking about how it would be to wake up with her every day until my death. But no, they've all found other men. And it makes me so lonely. And to top it off, I finally got to see the boyfriend of one of them, he looks like more of a dork than me even. (Yes I know who is reading this and I don't care.) Maybe I should just give up on women, run to monastery, or buy a sheep. Oh, and my computer is malfunctioning too.
Sunday
Well today I managed to pretty much destory the Mass of Creation, but we go on. They were apparently appreciative, and I wasn't kicked out of the place.
Ok, here's the shittiness. Most everyone around me is getting in a relationship, and I'm still single. Plus the women that I've really fallen for have all gotten into serious relationships with other guys. This really really bugs me because if I'm seriously interested I'm not thinking about seeing how long it takes to get her into bed, I'm thinking about how it would be to wake up with her every day until my death. But no, they've all found other men. And it makes me so lonely. And to top it off, I finally got to see the boyfriend of one of them, he looks like more of a dork than me even. (Yes I know who is reading this and I don't care.) Maybe I should just give up on women, run to monastery, or buy a sheep. Oh, and my computer is malfunctioning too.
Saturday, September 20, 2003
19 September 2003
Wow, what a great day. I ended up staying up all night because I wanted to see Jeremy off. He got my note, and when I got out of the car, he hugged me. Dude, it was great. Guess I felt loved again for a change. We talked for a few minutes about stuff, turns out he actually would have liked the velvet love bonds I was joking about making for him. Anyway, that sorta turned me into a morning person. Maybe if I had more good crisp mornings with the promise of good things life would be better. Came home, slept, took photographs, spent like 4 hours in the darkroom, saw The Matrix, and met some new people. Now I have to get up tomorrow early to go sub at St. Josephs.
Wow, what a great day. I ended up staying up all night because I wanted to see Jeremy off. He got my note, and when I got out of the car, he hugged me. Dude, it was great. Guess I felt loved again for a change. We talked for a few minutes about stuff, turns out he actually would have liked the velvet love bonds I was joking about making for him. Anyway, that sorta turned me into a morning person. Maybe if I had more good crisp mornings with the promise of good things life would be better. Came home, slept, took photographs, spent like 4 hours in the darkroom, saw The Matrix, and met some new people. Now I have to get up tomorrow early to go sub at St. Josephs.
Friday, September 19, 2003
18 September 2003
Friday
I f---ing hate being single. I really do. Its not being helped that two of my roommates are dating the ladies next door. So when I saw happy couples I started banging my head against the wall. Why does everyone else get a woman? Why do I just get turmoil and heartache instead? I fall for Melinda after she gives up on me, then she says I'm too good of a guy for me to be rebound man after she breaks up with yet another boyfriend. Juliana gets a boyfriend, dumps him, and gets another guy before I get a chance to ask her out. And she spurns my offers. Anne--the drunken bitch--laughs at me. Colleen doesn't realize how much she's messing with my heart when she is messing with my heart. Esther's chasing after me when I don't want to go out with her. And I still pray that I'll get married and reproduce alittle human. Maybe I should get a man, or perhaps a cat, whichever's less maintainance.
Friday
I f---ing hate being single. I really do. Its not being helped that two of my roommates are dating the ladies next door. So when I saw happy couples I started banging my head against the wall. Why does everyone else get a woman? Why do I just get turmoil and heartache instead? I fall for Melinda after she gives up on me, then she says I'm too good of a guy for me to be rebound man after she breaks up with yet another boyfriend. Juliana gets a boyfriend, dumps him, and gets another guy before I get a chance to ask her out. And she spurns my offers. Anne--the drunken bitch--laughs at me. Colleen doesn't realize how much she's messing with my heart when she is messing with my heart. Esther's chasing after me when I don't want to go out with her. And I still pray that I'll get married and reproduce alittle human. Maybe I should get a man, or perhaps a cat, whichever's less maintainance.
Tuesday, September 16, 2003
15 September
Monday
What a day! I got the new fuel pump on the car, now the carburetor floods again like it used to. The gas tank also leaks, and the fuel gauge is unreliable. Hugo's dying I'm afraid. Ran to class. Felt like crap. Did have a nice lunch with a nice freshman guy who should't become a priest because the world desperately needs genes like his to propagate the species. Let see, Jeremy's room is coming along, I need to check out the poster sale tomorrow.
Monday
What a day! I got the new fuel pump on the car, now the carburetor floods again like it used to. The gas tank also leaks, and the fuel gauge is unreliable. Hugo's dying I'm afraid. Ran to class. Felt like crap. Did have a nice lunch with a nice freshman guy who should't become a priest because the world desperately needs genes like his to propagate the species. Let see, Jeremy's room is coming along, I need to check out the poster sale tomorrow.
15 September
Monday
What a day! I got the new fuel pump on the car, now the carburetor floods again like it used to. The gas tank also leaks, and the fuel gauge is unreliable. Hugo's dying I'm afraid. Ran to class. Felt like crap. Did have a nice lunch with a nice freshman guy who should't become a priest because the world desperately needs genes like his to propagate the species. Let see, Jeremy's room is coming along, I need to check out the poster sale tomorrow.
Monday
What a day! I got the new fuel pump on the car, now the carburetor floods again like it used to. The gas tank also leaks, and the fuel gauge is unreliable. Hugo's dying I'm afraid. Ran to class. Felt like crap. Did have a nice lunch with a nice freshman guy who should't become a priest because the world desperately needs genes like his to propagate the species. Let see, Jeremy's room is coming along, I need to check out the poster sale tomorrow.
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